The one consistent thing I have heard in my life from all directions, at all ages, is " YOU should write" ....
HELP! " Write WHAT exactly ". I have put it off and put it off and this year I decided to just 'DO IT'.
I have stepped off the ledge - I have no idea what will appear, how often or in what form.
I am not claiming to write great 'truths' but just to allow what I am inspired to write to come through and maybe it will resonate with you and maybe it won't.
To start, I thought I would share an experience I had a few years ago in the hope that it may help anyone who is drawn to hear it.
I was lying in bed one evening staring at the ceiling and suddenly, with the utmost clarity, I had a kind of knowing or 'remembering'. It felt as if I saw myself or knew myself as I was in the womb or even as if it might have been before entering 'me' in the womb. I guess it was one of those moments where something aligns and comes into connection ... and we are shown something ... sort of like a memory but not quite.
What I saw, remembered and felt was ‘me’ as a foetus (looking about 7 wks) and in my centre was this incredible shining bright kind of radiating energy and a knowing or remembering that WE ARE ‘made of’ 100% PURE LOVE - that 'LOVE' is a real kind of substance and we just ARE that substance - LOVE. LOVE IS US and WE ARE LOVE.
It was so clear – and suddenly it seemed really strange to me that we have created all these external things that we think love is and how we have turn love into a kind of idea or a verb and even into separate ‘love‘ categories.
This seemed so odd suddenly compared to this 100% pure complete love substance that I was remembering us to be and that we are. As if ,somehow in our forgetting of this, we learn LOVE to be something we DO or experience externally rather than it being something we already ARE. At some point we start to see love as an action or an experience or a ‘doing’ thing that we need to work for or grasp at or deserve - when actually it is a ‘matter’ or an actual kind of living thing or a ‘being‘ thing. LOVE is always there.
As I had this 'insight' - I then felt a kind of shock in my body. I felt the contrast of how before our birth we FULLY KNOW ourselves to be this 'LOVE' and how incredible that feels, but then after birth we plunge into a horror or illusion where we have forgotten this - when we no longer feel or remember that we ARE this LOVE anymore and start to treat ourselves and others with unkindness.
Something about this comparison of having seen what we really are made of, and then the brutal contrast of how we ‘forget’ this and what it does to us to not know ourselves to be this anymore, made me leap out of bed run to the bathroom wretching.
The seeing of the beauty and then the cruelty. The remembering and the forgetting.
I felt - wow - our spirit/ Soul makes this incredible choice to connect to a tiny body and the incredible journey of entering it and then growing more and more of all those amazing cells that are ‘us’. Cells that are us as this physical manifestation of ‘PURE LOVE’ and know themselves only to be that love. And THEN we go through the incredible journey of being born - driven by our ‘will to live’ and - and "BAM" somehow after our birth (or even before) we begin forgetting we are this love.
I am left knowing from that experience that before this 'trauma' we know we are ‘PURE LOVE’ – where everything about us just IS this.
We come from that, we ARE born that and we go back to that. The continuous cycle of love.
because of this, there is no way we can’t ‘love ourselves’ because we are that ‘love’ ... Love is us.
Nothing about us is broken or needs 'fixing' - so it is not about 'doing' but about clearing the fog that stops us remembering and 'being' that which we already are and always have been.
It feels to me that if we are ill or unwell then it is just that these are the bits of us that have forgotten the most that they are this LOVE – and the symptom is highlighting where in the body this forgetting is held - and that all our bodies want to be able to do or need to be able to do is nudge us to ‘remember’ again – to stop and pause and fully know ourselves as this LOVE again.
The more cells that remember the more we become 'BEING LOVE' and there is nothing to 'do' other than 'Be that'. As we become more and more remembered again as that love substance the more we will radiate something that can help other cells remember too. Cells within us and within the others who start to resonate with us.
It feels that if our cells can just remember this then we can heal instantly. Not because of pushing on in a ‘fighting and trying with all our might kind of way’ or due to a thought or an action but because of finding that knowing and remembering again in ourselves. The gentle place where we just are love and that is it.
So it isn't 'love ourselves' but 'ourselves is love' and a re-connection to a deep inner respect and reverence.
A few weeks after this when I could remember the experience but couldn’t really feel the feeling of it anymore I sat and asked for higher guidance about it.
I asked “How can I access knowing I am love to heal my fear?”
... This is what came to me and I have written it as I heard it so please excuse the sentence structure. After writing I put it away and didn't read it for awhile - when i eventually did I was amazed.
My hope is that in times of need and overwhelm in your life it may help you, just as I am learning how to work with it in mine:
“Even when you feel tight and closed and scared try to stay open to receiving. The love is there anyway, it is all around you, it is not something that needs to be found, you are bathed in it all the time, you just need to notice it is there, allow it to penetrate, allow it to come into your body like the air that you breathe. It will heal you, it IS YOU and you are it. There is nothing to understand. Nothing you need to understand that you do not already know. You just need to be it, be still, be open, be alive and it will manifest within you and be visible to you in a way that you can trust with all your heart. There is nothing to be scared of, and because of that, fear has no place. It is useless.
Bathe yourself in pink, be pink all around you. It is easy to see everything small but think bigger – tap into the expanse around you, the expanse that IS YOU. Nothing else is important. You are at one with all you need – if you can just see that then fear is healed, fruitless. The path is there before you. “
YOU ARE LOVE
YOUR BODY KNOWS THIS
YOU DESERVE TO REMEMBER